{My Struggles} What Most Lifestyle Bloggers Are Not Sharing

In the past year, blogging has become all the rage. Seems like everyone has decided to create a blog and post about clothes, food, home, etc. While the better blogs are totally addicting and inspiring, I feel like they also have added a layer of stress to a girl’s already stressful and hectic life. Do we really need another outlet to dwell on the things that we don’t have/can’t afford/can’t create? Now maybe some people do not have a problem with this and that’s awesome, but for those like me, I wanted to let you know that just because I blog doesn’t mean that I don’t have that constant “LUCKY B*TCH” pit in the bottom of my stomach when a blogger shows a picture of a wonderful new piece of furniture or posts a picture of herself with long, gorgeous extensions fresh from the salon.

I am a very happy-go-lucky person. I feel extremely lucky that I have a wonderful family, an adorable husband and warm house to come home to everyday. With that being said, I felt like it was important to let my readers know some of the things that I struggle with so that they don’t feel like they are reading an unrealistic blog of someone who just lives her day-to-day life without a care in the world. Because for me, it seems like some bloggers do that.

{Fulfillment}

Before I met my husband, I was super career driven. I wanted to be an editor at an upscale magazine and live in NYC in a wonderful penthouse apartment. Well, obviously, things change when you fall in love. Suddenly I started to cringe when thinking of living anywhere but by his side. Who was I? Where was that girl who had never had a serious boyfriend because it would get in the way of going to my dream college and my career goals?

Fast forward to the present day, I am still head over heels for my husband, but that girl who has big dreams for herself is still there too. I still want to live in a big city. I still want to work in a position that makes me feel like I get to use my talents every single day. And what does this mean? Honestly, it scares me a little bit.  My husband is about to start a job at an exclusive law firm that will put him right where he wants to be in his career. He is living his dream and no one deserves it more than he does. He works super hard and is honestly one of the most genuine, kind people that I have ever met. But what about me? I have no idea what I want to do with my life but I know that I want to do something more than JUST SOLEY being the wife of Brian Oates (although that is a title that I am completely 100 percent proud of, let's be clear) . I want to work somewhere where I feel challenged. I want to do something that makes me feel like I am using my gifts. Again, I have no idea what that is but I know that I will not be happy simply sitting at home and baking all day while my husband is out making a name for himself.

This has been something I have been dealing with lately as we anticipate this move to Dallas. Finally I will have my big city. Finally I will have a chance to decide who I want to be. It is time to get to work. It isn't going to be easy because making "it" in this world is hard. But I am ready to fight to be the woman I've always wanted to be. 

{The B Word}

Budget. GROSS. Don’t ya hate it? Like I said before, it is hard to live in a world where you are constantly being shown the things that you can’t have. Brian and I have done an amazing job with living with what little income we do have during these last two years of living together and him being a student and me getting paid a reporter’s salary. We are super excited for a time where he will actually be able to make a good living but while the home stretch has begun, we are just now beginning to understand the meaning of being on a budget. I initially ran from the idea of a budget simply because I am a control freak and don’t like the idea of some set rule or some person telling me what I can and can’t do. Well, we finally decided it was time to set up some ground rules for our spending so that we can make it through these last couple of months before he starts his job and it hasn’t been as bad as I originally thought. Thank Goodness he is so financially responsible. As much as I do hate budgeting, I am very grateful to have a man that is business savvy and responsible. As much as I moan and groan, I secretly feel very blessed to have a man that has our families financial well being in mind at all times as I sometimes have trouble seeing the big picture (especially when I am at Nordstrom, Pottery Barn & Piperlime).

Other Things I need to work on:

1.     Worrying

2.     Slowing Down

3.     Letting “the little things” go.

Things about me that I am thankful for:

1.     I don’t care what people think about me. Never have. Thank God. So many people that I interact with on a daily basis are basically paralyzed by what other people think about them. I am so glad that I was raised to make decisions and be confident enough to support them with my head held high. You don’t really like me all that much? Grand, keep walking! That is your right. 

2.     I make people laugh. I like being able to make people smile.

I know this post is a change of pace, however, I feel it's important to sometimes remind the people who read my blog that I do actually think about things that matter. I do not just care about food, weddings and brands of concealer.  Granted, all of those topics are pretty darn fabulous, but I am deeper than that.

XOXO,